Counseling
RVAP counselors are available to help victims/survivors of rape or any other type of sexual abuse work through the healing process.
Page Contents
What RVAP Counselors Do | Cost | Setting Up An Appointment | Confidentiality | Ways to Use Counseling |
Choosing a Counselor/Therapist | What to Look For
What RVAP Counselors Do
The role of the counselor is to listen, clarify, support, and share information about the healing process and local resources. We talk to victims/survivors who were assaulted at any time—whether a week or twenty years ago. We talk to victims/survivors who have been victimized as adults or as children. This is not therapy, but support and advocacy from a certified sexual assault counselor.
RVAP counselors can also talk with friends, partners, and family members of victims/survivors of sexual violence.
The victim/survivor or significant other chooses what to talk about and decides the direction of the conversation.
Cost
There is no fee for counseling or any other service at RVAP.
Setting Up An Appointment
Each counselor makes her own appointments (sometimes the initial meeting is scheduled by RVAP for another staff member). We know that because society has taught us rape should not be talked about, it is sometimes difficult to make or keep appointments. You have the right to trust your instincts about what you need.
If you must cancel an appointment, it is helpful if you call and leave a message for the counselor. We will not call you to reschedule unless you specifically ask to reschedule. This allows you complete control over when you talk. You and the counselor may need to make specific agreements about appointment times and cancellations.
Confidentiality
Staff and volunteers at RVAP are bound by confidentiality. Anything you say to the counselor in the office or during a call will be held in the strictest confidence within the agency. (The exception to this is disclosure of current abuse of a child. We consider ourselves mandatory child abuse reporters.)
If you request that we speak to someone outside of our agency on your behalf or about your situation, we will ask you to sign a written release of information form.
So that you have control over who knows that you have used RVAP services, if you see staff members or volunteers from RVAP in public, they will not acknowledge you unless you speak to them first. This will remove the need for you to explain to anyone how you know the staff members or volunteers.
Ways to Use Counseling
- You might try to identify which issues surrounding the abuse are most present for you.
- It may be helpful to identify and express the emotions you feel.
- Think about giving yourself time--- be patient with yourself and with your healing process.
- You may want to do some reading about issues you are facing--- the counselor may be able to suggest books or articles that are available here in our Lending Library.
- Feel free to ask questions and provide feedback to the counselor about parts of your sessions that are working or are not working for you.
- Listen to yourself--- you know what is right for you.
- It can be helpful to identify the ways you have learned to cope and to talk about how these skills work for you and what you might like to change.
- Trust your feelings.
- Give yourself credit for the hard work you are doing.
- Honor the fact that wherever you are, and whatever you are feeling right now, you have survived.
Choosing A Counselor/Therapist
Some victims/survivors of sexual abuse have found it helpful to seek counseling or therapy services from a psychiatrist, psychologist, spiritual leader, or other counseling professional. You may not have considered counseling as an option before--- going to a counselor does not mean you are weak or “crazy.” A counselor can be a valuable part of your support system, and can provide clarity, insight, information, and consistent support as you move through the journey of healing from sexual violence.
If you are considering therapy, you may find the following information helpful.
What to Look For
RVAP has provided this handout that lists some areas of consideration when searching for a therapist.
A counseling professional should:
- Believe that you were abused
- Fully respect your feelings and experiences
- Have, or get for you, information about the healing process for survivors of sexual assault
- Keep the focus on you
- Encourage you to develop a support system outside of counseling
- Help enhance your self-care skills
- Be open to feedback and willing to discuss problems that occur in the therapy relationship
- Ensure your confidentiality**
**The only exceptions to this rule may come if the counselor perceives that you are endangering your own or someone else’s life, or if you disclose knowledge of some kind of abuse that is happening to a child. Most counselors are mandatory child abuse reporters.
A counseling professional should NOT:
- Minimize your experience or your feelings
- Push reconciliation or forgiveness
- Have a friendship with you outside of counseling
- Talk about her or his personal problems
- Want a sexual relationship with you now or in the future
- Force you to do anything you don’t want to do
A counselor is someone chosen by you, and you have a right to be an informed consumer of counseling services.
Every survivor has the right to information about the beliefs, methods and areas of expertise of any counselor that they are seeing.
You have the right to end a counseling relationship if you are not comfortable with your counselor; if you do not feel safe, or for any other reason.
If you are searching for a counselor right now, it is okay to interview several, if you want to, before making your choice.
