Ending Sexual Violence
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
– Margaret Mead
There is no single solution to ending sexual violence. Work is needed on an individual level, in our relationships, community, and society. The road to ending sexual violence is long, but the hopeful part is that there ARE people doing this work.
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Start with yourself | Speak out
A rape-free world is within our reach. Societies do exist that are essentially free of sexual violence; ours and others can be too. Your interest and energy is vital to this movement as it is essential to have both men and women working together to end rape.
Begin with learning more about sexual violence through online research, looking at the Prevention Links, reading books and talking to others.
Start with yourself
Prevention efforts you can make in your own life:
- Assume that you don’t have consent in intimate situations unless it is given explicitly. Make sure that all intimacy is active, mutual, non-coerced, and consenting. When initiating sex, be sure that what you want is reciprocal.
- Listen carefully. Take the time to hear what your partner is saying. If you feel she or he is not being direct or giving you a “mixed message,” ask for a clarification.
- If you are emotionally, psychologically, physically, or sexually abusive, or have been in the past, seek professional help NOW.
- Remember that date rape is a crime. It is never acceptable to use pressure or force in sexual situations, no matter what the circumstances.
- Don’t fall for the stereotype that when a woman says “No” she really means “Yes.” “No” means “No.” If a woman says “No” to sexual contact, believe her and stop.
- Don’t make assumptions about a person’s behavior. Don’t automatically assume that someone wants to have sex just because he or she drinks heavily, dresses provocatively, or agrees to go to your room. Don’t assume that just because someone has had sex with you previously he or she is willing to have sex with you again. Also, don’t assume that just because someone consents to kissing or other sexual intimacies he or she is willing to have sexual intercourse.
- Be aware that having sex with someone who is mentally or physically incapable of giving consent is rape. If you have sex with someone who is drugged, intoxicated, passed out, incapable of saying “No,” or unaware of what is happening, this is rape.
- Be careful in group situations. Be prepared to resist pressure from friends to participate in violent or criminal acts.
- “Get involved” if you believe someone is at risk. If you see someone in trouble at a party or a friend using force or pressuring someone, don’t be afraid to intervene. You may prevent a sexual assault and keep your friend from the ordeal of criminal prosecution.
- Be especially careful in situations involving the use of alcohol and drugs. Alcohol and drugs can interfere with your ability to assess situations and to communicate effectively.
- Watch your words – don’t use sexist or degrading language. Challenge others who use sexist language. Use language that respects and values diversity and empowers others.
Speak Out
Raise your concerns in your community:
- Talk openly about the problem of sexual violence. Share your knowledge.
- Invite a speaker to your school, community group, workplace, church, etc., to talk about sexual assault issues.
- Support other people’s efforts to speak out.
- Recognize the role society and social images play in perpetrating sexual violence. Challenge these images.
- Send your written objection to advertisers who sexually objectify others and boycott their products. Send copies of your letters to local newspapers, sexual assault centers, and public action groups.
- Call TV stations to object to programs that glamorize sexual violence.
- Use your voting voice and awareness to influence legislative decision making. Express your opinions to your legislators.
- Vote to support legislators who are working to improve laws about sexual assault. Challenge public figures whose voting records and public statements perpetuate negative stereotypes and contribute to oppression.
- Organize a fundraiser for local sexual assault and domestic violence programs.
- Hold a public event to raise awareness about sexual violence.
Sources:
Alan Berkowitz "What Men and Women Can Do to End Violence Against Women"
Jackson Katz "10 Things Men Can Do to Prevent Gender Violence"
Men Can Stop Rape "What Men Can Do"
ACT for Kids "Ending Sexual Violence"
