Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse

If you are struggling with issues related to childhood sexual abuse:
You are not alone. Whether you have just begun to think about the effects of childhood sexual abuse on your life, or you have been doing healing work for a long time, you deserve support. Remember that, for many people, talking about what happened, breaking the silence can help. You may not remember everything that happened to you. That's not uncommon! Whether or not you have a complete memory of your childhood experiences, you can still access whatever support you feel you need.
Childhood sexual abuse cuts across all lines in our society -- gender, race, ethnicity, class. It can happen anywhere; to anyone.

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About Childhood Sexual Abuse

Childhood sexual assault is any negative, exploitative or coercive sexual experience involving a person under the age of 18. Childhood sexual assault ranges from fondling to exploitation to rape. It can be anything from an encounter with a man who exposes himself to fondling by a next-door neighbor; from the taking of pornographic pictures to years of repeated sexual abuse by a family member.
Just as in sexual violence involving adults, the overwhelming majority of sexual crimes against children are perpetrated by persons the children know and trust, and who are in positions of authority over them. The term "child sexual assault" often suggests an image of a child kidnapped and violently assaulted by somebody the child doesn't know. To prevent this from occurring, parents often warn children about the stranger in the car or the man in the movie theater, rather than talking to children about how to recognize abusive behavior that is coming from people close to them.
Most sexual violence against children is not visible to the general public. In fact, violent beatings or restraints are not common because visible injury would call attention to the child and lead to possible discovery of the offense. Violence does occur, however. Physical, emotional, and spiritual violence results no matter how the offender may act, and no matter how deeply buried and invisible the bruises and scars may be.
Commonly, the sexual assault of a child involves a slow conditioning process, where the level and type of sexual abuse increases over time. Incest victims, especially, may be socialized at an early age to submit to displays of affections which gradually become more sexual in nature. A child who has been taught to obey adult authority and who, like most children, seeks approval and affection from the adults in her or his life may be deprived of a chance to learn to distinguish between physical affection and sexually-exploitative attention. The child's confusion may be heightened by her or his own feelings of complicity and guilt, often cultivated by the abuser.
Research has also shown that girls may be more likely than boys to report sexual abuse, but that boys and girls may both be equally at risk. Sexual abuse of boys or girls by female perpetrators may also be much more common than originally thought, but vastly underreported.
For centuries, incest and other childhood sexual abuse has been covered up by a compulsory silence. An offender uses real or implied force, or exploits the child's natural desire for love and attention. The child submits out of fear and/or the desire to be loved and cared for, and because, as a child, she or he is not in a position of power in a relationship with an adult. Guilt or shame over perceived complicity may keep the child quiet. But "the secret" grows to such overwhelming proportions that it effectively isolates the child from others.
Adult survivors, once physically free from the sexual abuse of their childhood, often continue to be silent. The family may demand that the survivor maintain the image of family harmony, refusing to discuss the assault. Survivors who seek counseling for alcoholism, substance abuse, marital or other problems often find "the helping professionals" reluctant to discuss the originating cause of their dilemma, because, until recently, counselors were not trained to deal with childhood sexual assault issues.
Literature and anthologies of writings by survivors underscore the importance of breaking silence as a first act of self-love and liberation. Refusing to continue the patterns of self-denial for the comfort of others can open the door for a survivor to work through the experience.
Sexual abuse by mothers is perhaps not so much uncommon as it is underreported; however, one factor that is common and prevalent in discussions about childhood sexual abuse is mother-blaming. Traditionally, professionals have gone to great lengths to hold women responsible for the actions of men. For instance, the mother is often accused of "abdicating" her role as sexual partner to her husband and either knowingly or unconsciously offering her daughter as a replacement. In reality, most women who discover that their partners are assaulting their children are sad and angry. They may also struggle with self-blame, and a sense of failure to protect their children.

Effects of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Most children are versatile and creative by nature, and children who survive sexual violence are no exception. Children use their mind and spirit to invent coping mechanisms (ways to not feel pain) that fall within their developmental level and are in agreement with their world view. These can include, among others:

Dissociation (spacing out, or floating out of one's body)
Repression of the memory of episodes of abuse
Becoming a super achiever, being in control of one's environment, maintaining control by generating and/or resolving crises
Developing alternate identities (each identity develops the strength to cope with a different kind of abusive or non-abusive situation-a kind of dissociation).
Minimizing what happened

Sometimes the coping mechanisms that children develop to survive childhood abuse get in the way of living as an adult in the adult world. Sometimes, as in the case of the super-achiever or caretaker, they enhance one's ability to function in the adult world in some ways.

Post-traumatic Stress Syndrome

depression
living in crisis
numbness, an inability to feel
no memories of childhood
eating problems
substance abuse
low self-esteem
body memories
flashbacks

Research has shown that well over 80% of women who have been labeled as "borderlines" (suffering from borderline personality disorder) are survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Within traditional psychiatric hospitals and traditional psychology practice their abuse as children is only now beginning to be seen as connected to their lives as adults.
It is also important to note that becoming an abusive parent is NOT necessarily an effect of childhood sexual abuse. Many children who grow up with abuse use the negative example ("I will never be like my parent”!) and many children have supportive adults in their lives (non-abusive parents, teachers, and other family members) as positive role models. Unfortunately, popular wisdom leads many victims/survivors to believe that abusing other children is their destiny and that can feel very damaging.

Research about Childhood Sexual Assault

In a 1991 survey conducted by the National Victim Center, 61% of adult survivors said they had been sexually assaulted before the age of 18. The random survey of 4,008 women survivors included only cases involving penetration.
A random survey of 2,627 men and women conducted by the LA Times found that 27% of the women and 16% of the men had been sexually abused as children.
The National Victim Center survey found that 29% of child sexual assaults involving penetration occurred before the child reached the age of 11, and 32% occurred between the ages of 11 and 17. The LA Times poll found the following percentages for a child's first incident of sexual abuse: 0-6 yrs.: 14%, 7-12 yrs.: 61%, and 13-18 yrs.: 25%.
One in three girls and one in six boys are sexually abused before the age of 18 (Diana Russell in Handbook on Sexual Abuse of Children, Lenore Walker, ed.)
53% of adult survivors of incest said the abuse caused "some" or "great" long-term psychological effects. (Russell)
Most men who abuse boys define their sexual orientation as heterosexual. (Urquiza and Keating in, The Sexually Abused Male, Mic Hunter, ed.)
63% of child sexual abuse victims reported being sexually assaulted as adults, compared to 36% of women who were not victims of childhood sexual abuse.
From a 1992 study by Jacqueline White at the University of North Carolina-Greensboro: “College women who were sexually assaulted as adolescents had a 239% higher chance of experiencing a completed or attempted sexual assault during their first year on campus.”
According to Nick Groth, (1979) 51% of the male perpetrators in one study selected only female children, 28% selected only male children, and 21% selected both girls and boys as their victims. Offenders attracted to boy victims typically report that they are uninterested in or repulsed by adult homosexual relationships. Groth found that 83% of the offenders he studied reported they were exclusively heterosexual in their sexual contacts with adults, and 17% identified as bisexually-oriented, with a preference for women. It is also important to note that as many as 50% of fathers who are convicted of incest report also having abused children outside their own family.

Resources

The RVAP local Rape Crisis Line (319-335-6000) and the Iowa Sexual Abuse Hotline (1-800-284-7821) provide supportive listening for victim/survivors throughout the state of Iowa. If you live in Johnson, Cedar, Iowa, or Washington Counties in Iowa you can call (319-335-6001) or email the RVAP rvap@uiowa.edu to make an appointment to talk to a counselor or join a support group. You can also call if you'd like for a referral for, or information about local therapists.

For women who are survivors of childhood sexual abuse:

Bass, Ellen and Davis, Laura (1994) The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse. Harper and Row, NY
Bass,Ellen and Davis, Laura. (1993) Beginning to Heal: A First Book for Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse. HarperCollins, NY
Davis, Laura. (1991) Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child. HarperCollins, NY
Gil, Eliana. Outgrowing the Pain: A Book For and About Adults Abused as Children. Dell, NY.

About trauma and abuse :
Herman, Judith Lewis.( 1992) Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror. Basic Books, NY

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